I'm finally giving in

Well friends, now that my senior year of college is nearing its end, I am finally creating a blog. I know, I know, I should have done it sooner I guess, but I've kept a pretty consistent written journal so I didn't really feel the need for it. But I think it'll be fun to write my thoughts on this blog and hear what you have to say. Part of me feels really vulnerable writing thoughts for the world to read (though let's face it, only a very very small percentage of the world will actually read this thing...maybe 0%...in that case, I'm just writing to myself right now. Hey Mere!)

Okay, enough about blogging, I'm going to try to not be A.D.D. and actually write something!

So I'm in my last semester of college and I seriously cannot believe it! The past four years at Campbell have been absolutely incredible. Thinking about graduating is bittersweet. I am definitely going to miss good ole' Buies Creek and the awesome memories I have had here. I'm going to miss living within walking distance of everyone. I'll miss staying up late and sleeping in :) I'll miss going to Encounter every Friday night and my dear sweet international friends. Of course I'll miss the crazy random times (prank wars, dress up parties, swimming in the fountain, secret missions, road trips, etc.)

As much as I'll miss it, I must say I am very excited about the future! I have no idea where I'll be five years from now, or even two years from now, but I am just thrilled to be on this journey with the Lord and trust Him to lead me in the right direction.

I just filled out my contract to serve as a year-long missionary in Hawaii. I'm leaving in July and will be working with the North American Mission Board at the University of Hawaii at Manoa. And guess what I'll be doing?....International student ministry! I seriously could not think of a job that would excite me any more! God has definitely given me a passion for internationals and I can't get over how cool it is that He's allowing me to use that passion to serve Him! I don't know too much about the job yet, but basically I think I'll help teach English, teach Bible studies, and mainly focus on developing friendships with the students. I'll keep you updated as I learn more about it :)

The Lord has been teaching me so so much lately and I want to briefly share a little of it with you. I guess it comes down to two main things: His faithfulness and waiting on Him.

A few weeks ago I was at home and pulled out some dusty boxes from the attic and began to read some of my old journals from elementary and middle school (yes, my whole life is documented on paper). Some of the things I wrote were ridiculously hilarious and silly, but other times I found myself wiping tears from my face. Page after page, I was amazed at how God's hand has been with me my whole life. He has answered every prayer (even when it wasn't the answer I wanted to hear at the time). He has protected me and brought me through every trial. I was absolutely blown away by his faithfulness. He has been faithful to His promises in scripture and in my life. He was faithful in the past, He's faithful now, and I know that He will continue to be! I tend to worry about my life sometimes, but it's so wonderful to be able to rest, knowing that my life isn't up to me.

The next lesson God taught me was a little bit more difficult. The past few weeks, I've been struggling with thoughts like, "What am I going to do with my life?" "Where am I going to live?" "How in the world am I going to provide for myself?" yikes! I guess that's natural for a college senior. I know what I'm doing next year, but beyond that I have absolutely no idea. I've visited a few seminaries, so that's a possibility, but I really don't know what God is calling me to do yet. I've always been a planner and a goal-oriented person (I had my Campbell application filled out and ready to go when I was 14!) so not knowing what the future holds sometimes makes me feel anxious and stressed out.

I began to pray fervently for God to show me His will for my future and the clear response I heard was, "Wait."

Yeah, that was not what I wanted to hear. So I tried praying again...and again. But every time I opened up my Bible I would read about waiting on the Lord.

Psalm 27:14 showed up several times in my quiet times with God. "Wait for the LORD: be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

So then I began to pray that God would change my perspective and let me tell you, He totally transformed it! I've been listening to this song by John Waller called "While I'm Waiting" and it has been such an encouragement to me. It says, "I will serve you while I'm waiting, I will worship while I'm waiting..." As I continued to meditate on what God was telling me, He pretty much bonked me on the head and I began to ask myself "What's so bad about waiting?"

I dread waiting in long lines and waiting for important phone calls and waiting to be called at the doctor's office. But what if I used that "waiting time" to serve Him and worship Him rather than just complain and waste it! God has given me this season in life where I'm not tied down to any one place or person. Maybe I don't know what the future holds, but I don't want to waste the time He's given me just waiting for the next big stage of my life. I can serve Him now!

Phew, I could keep going for hours, but it's almost 3am and I have to get up for dance class in 6 hours (why do I do this to myself? oh, the life of a college kid!)

Have a blessed day, my friends!
Mere